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The Joy of Making, Selling and Giving

And just like Christmas it’s all over! I popped by craft fair cherry 🤭!

After 6 weeks of manic making, I hosted my first craft stall at Fresh Ground Eltham’s first Christmas Fayre. As I mentioned before it was very much like the wedding prep but in a much shorter period but so worth it!

I will confess to being so nervous about it – Would people like my makes? Would I have enough stock? Would I sell anything? The pressure felt rather mixed as I knew I was underpricing items because I didn’t really know what people would want to pay, but at the same time as I was raising money as opposed to seeking profit. That said I still wanted to make sure I was getting a reasonable amount to support Ronald McDonald House Charities.

I was ably assisted on the day by 2 of my lovely friends who helped me set up, pack up and keep the chatter up with the prospective customers. As it was a Christmas market and I was selling Christmas Fripperies I made sure to “Elf up” the stall, with Christmas table cloths, fairylit white trees, and we naturally dragged the Christmas jumpers out of mothballs a couple of weeks early. Topped with some festive headgear and armed with a staple tin of Quality Streets (other Christmas chocolates are available 😂) we were ready to greet the market visitors.

The state of panic rose over the first hour with a lot of passing glances on the stall but no real interest. This is when supportive friends really make the difference with a lot of cheerful chatter, encouraging words and reassurance that the stall looks great, and my fripperies are lovely.

And then suddenly a rush! More friends arrived armed with cash for the purchase of items! Suddenly the stall was attracting interest as my friend started exclaiming loudly about the detail of the stitching on an advent calendar, “in gold thread?! How beautiful! And it is how much on Etsy? Really?  so this is truly a bargain!” My first sale bagged!! And yes to a friend, but I had already thought some of the higher priced items would be more likely to sell to the people I knew. I had my 2 advent calendars sold within half an hour, but we kept one on display with a sold sign, to promote the full range of makes and also to maybe demonstrate demand…

Hubby and Small made an appearance, Small to add the cute factor, and Hubby with his eagle eyed approach to effective business management. Suddenly my approach of POA was dropped and price tags were made up! The table was slightly rearranged to show case the stocking bunting better and the chocolates were moved a little further back from the front of the table (to encourage leaning over and having a proper look!).

One of the stall visitors was Gabriella of KeepingItDelicious, who gave me some great feedback on my products but also some real encouragement to look into specialists craft markets as she thought I could really capitalise in a focused environment where the visitors are all there to buy crafts. I have to say a massive thank you, because her words and advice were really inspiring, reassuring and a major boost! I am not a business, but a hobbyist, therefore selling has always been a scary place for me as I struggle with pricing products to achieve a return. I suffer from an inherent belief that no one would pay what a item is worth exacerbated by the fact I work too slowly to be able to properly charge for my time, therefore always selling at a loss.

It was soon becoming evident what products sold well (mini bunting) and what wasn’t shifting at all (stockings), which is great for understanding where to focus my efforts in future. There is a definite demand for personalisation now, so items like stockings are less desirable if not personalised. Something to consider in the future, however I think the market is pretty saturated with that offering.

I also met another maker like myself. She was a Mum who made a few things for a market last year and was selling the remaining stock this year. She doesn’t really sell, because she can’t make any money from it and now she has a new 3 month old she doesn’t have time to do anything! Made me realise that I am very lucky to have recovered my crafting time, I really do find the outlet invaluable for rebalancing my stress levels!

It was an amazing experience, I met some really interesting and inspirational people, and took away a desire to try my hand again at another event. More importantly I raised a fantastic £270 for Ronald McDonald House and sold most of my stock. Selling for charity really took the pressure off trying to push to break even, and the feeling of beating my £250 fundraising target was a truly incredible feeling!

I did manage sell the remaining stock to my colleagues at work and family, taking my final total to £543!! So so thrilled that I could give something back to this incredible charity. We experienced their work first hand when we stayed at their Evelina House when Small was poorly as a newborn being treated in Evelina’s Neonatal unit. Although the reason for staying with Ronald McDonald is in many circumstances very traumatic, worrying and distressing, the house itself is an oasis of calm. We only stayed a very short time but we couldn’t fail to feel the overwhelming sense of love and community that radiated through the house. Privilege is possibly not the right word to use in the context of why we were staying there, but that is the best way I can describe it. Ronald McDonald House provide a “home from home” to families with poorly little ones so that they can stay close by. A few weeks after my event I also had the fantastic news that my employer was matching my fundraising so I doubled my total and with a few more donations the current total stands at £1,148. That is a sum that will really make a difference to so many families in need of the love and support RMHC.org offers.

So what did I learn from my first craft fair?

  • – pricing- make sure the pricing is clear, although I was trying to encourage the concept of “suggested donations” a lot of people are not comfortable with asking the price of things therefore I would probably have attracted more interest if the items had been clearly priced.
  • – labelling – what are the items? are they handmade? Then say so!!!! Not everyone will expect my items to have been made by me, or if they identify that, they may not consider the whole item (like the embroidered hearts) to be made by hand.
  • – sell handmade story – selling the story effectively justifies the price you apply. There is a market for handmade, and the story of the maker and their craft is a big part of that.
  • – promote promote promote
  • – logo and branding – for this event I was raising money for charity so I wasn’t really promoting myself as a maker. This is something I really need to invest some time into, as I have a name/brand, but I don’t have a logo. Definitely something I need to link into what I want my making / selling focus to be.
  • – consider what my focus is? Seasons? Holidays? – As a crafting magpie I have interests in so many things, however to effectively sell I need to have a clear focus. I clearly love Christmas makes, but you can’t sell these all year round, therefore I need to think of the other makes. Perhaps seasonal / holiday decorations, especially when you consider the rise of Easter and Halloween decor. But also maybe the gift market as I have always loved making knitted toys, there are a number of considerations though when selling toys. Or perhaps I return to the focus on weddings and celebrations. All food for thought…
  • – market items ahead of time – use social media more effectively. If I am going to be hosting a stall make sure I profile items on social media ahead of the event to drum up support.
  • – note items that have already sold – evidence demand!
  • – work out a wrapping strategy and make sure the tissue is big enough 🙈
  • – personalisation?! – this is a tricky one as there is so much personalisation out there and in most cases it is achieved using an embroidery machine, which is a reasonable outlay for something I am not really focussed on. I think if I am going to consider personalisation I am going to do it on a commission basis.
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Mikey’s Magic March

As some of you will have seen from my recent Insta posts a couple of weekends ago I spent Saturday very differently to my usual routine of CBeebies-Breakfast-CBeebies-Park-Lunch-Nap (SHED)-Reading (same book over and over again)- Dinner prep – CBeebies Bedtime Hour- Dinner- In the Night Garden- Bathtime- Bedtime.

Instead I was up at 7:30 leaving my two favourite people cuddling in bed (watching CBeebies) and out the door in less than an hour, wearing the unfamiliar attire of running gear and trainers (I bought them in 2015 and wore them 3 times before deciding cardio just wasn’t my thing!).

It was the day of Mikey’s Magic March! Mikey Harney is a beautiful little boy, full of life and joy who, at 20 months, was diagnosed with stage 4, high-risk neuroblastoma. His parents, Caroline and Paddy, discovered a lump in Mikey’s tummy while Caroline was in then later stages of pregnancy with his little brother Bobby. Whilst Mikey has responded really well to treatment and is currently undergoing a round of immunotherapy, the next stage of treatment is not funded on the NHS. Therefore they face having to find treatment in the US or Europe or clinical trials, and that requires a lot of funding. So we are walking to try and raise as much money as possible towards their target of £200,000. I haven’t seen my friend Caroline since I left to go on maternity. Our grand plans of meeting up with our little ones were thrown in the air with Mikey’s diagnosis. Although the reasons for our walk were very serious, I was really looking forward to seeing her, and being part of her opportunity to have some time out. Her life since leaving on maternity to have Bobby has been a whirlwind I cannot even comprehend and Mikey being under treatment for over a year has meant being confined to the house or hospital because of his low immune system. Today was a rare chance to be out in the air, to spend time with friends, and put collective positive energy to the most worthwhile cause. I have included the link to Caroline’s JustGiving page for anyone who wants to support Mikey’s cause.

We started our walk at the Royal Marsden Hospital in Sutton, where Mikey receives treatment before taking on the long walk to town and the river! The first stage of the walk was more about getting to know everyone in the group than the scenery. Some were girls I knew from work, others were former colleagues of Caroline and there were also some friends of friends who were keen to walk alongside us and support Mikey. There was a lot of sharing experiences of motherhood, tips for childcare vouchers and clothes to fit children with large head, all of which drove away my fear of a blister which surfaced at around 5k (not good when you consider the remaining distance). We were lucky to have relatively benign weather and we made very good progress thanks to the frankly awesome pace Caroline was setting out in front! For a woman who had admitted to have not walked more than a kilometre outside of the house in the last 15 months she was really attacking the challenge.

We had a brief photo stop at Morden to prove we hadn’t just jumped on the bus, before continuing on the (marginally) uphill route to the river. I should at this point acknowledge we were checking the mileage count frequently (reminding me of the constant checking of the word count when writing my university dissertation) for reassurance that we were making steady progress, and to mitigate the couple of wrong turns.

Just ahead of reaching Wandsworth we were greeted with the magical news we’d made the 10 mile mark!!! This felt like making the 3km split when I made a rare appearance at Park Run many years ago (which incidentally is why I owned running trainers!). Celebrations were had when we reached Earlsfield with coffee from Gail’s, a toilet stop and the breaking out of snacks and sweets! We were all feeling a bit a of a burn but we remained in high spirits! So far it hadn’t rained, everyone had kept a decent pace, and no one had got lost! That said my splinter group were accosted by a rather opinionated old man on the correct way to cross a road which was mildly irritating when he started his rant with “Do you speak English?” and we were dealing with a blind corner where 2 of us went to check the traffic from one direction, whilst 2 others went to check the other and we all crossed safely. Harumph!

I digress… so we headed on towards Chelsea, passing Stamford Bridge (thankfully the game that week was on the Sunday), and a fabulous house with the most elaborate party balloons I have ever seen (naturally I have saved this photo to my Pinterest Board for Small’s next birthday party). And before we knew it we’d made it to our second key milestone – Chelsea Westminster Hospital, where Mikey (and little brother Bobby) were born, and Mikey was diagnosed.

Time to turn southwards again and make our way back across the river to our final destination and finish, Mikey’s home: Clapham. It was a merry bunch of girls that crossed Battersea bridge on the downhill. High spirits were slightly dashed when south of the river the wind started to hit us with the threat of the rain that had so far held off, and suddenly we were faced with an incline that we hadn’t expected! But we were so close and nothing would stop us now!! So up we marched!! Upon reaching the top we happily discovered ourselves on the approach to Clapham Common! We had done it!!!

The final mile count was just shy of 18 miles, 3 more than the 15 Caroline had planned and 5 more than I had expected. What a super achievement. All finished in 5hrs 43 mins!

I left the girls heading to Caroline’s for a celebratory prosecco. As Small is a walking plague of nursery germs I didn’t want to run the risk of passing something on to Mikey, who’s treatment had left him with a low immune system and the threat of infection could delay further treatments.  I was heading home for a long soak and cuddle with my favourite people and the hope that we’d be blessed with a decent night’s sleep.

The walk was a greater achievement than I ever thought I would undertake (being a typically lazy person who has always used the creativity to relax than exercise). I have nightmarish memories of the Duke of Edinburgh Award trek, and a constant fear of shin splints which have plagued me since I my teens. But I cannot begin to explain the sense of joy this experience gave me, matched only by the fundraising Caroline has achieved. But for all the joy the walk gave me it is always sobering to remember why we were walking. I experienced the trauma of having a very sick baby when Small was just a day old, but our trauma was very short lived. What Mikey and his family are dealing with is on a whole other level that I cannot begin to imagine. And yet to see Caroline so strong, so resolute and so grounded fills me with pride that she is my friend. My love and wishes are with her and her gorgeous little boy, that he may continue to be a perfect little boy full of life and mischief!

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Big brave steps!

HELLO!!! Anyone out there?! I have been a bad blogger (again) and failed to post for AGES! It’s not been lack of intention, but things have been rather busy at BBKnitz HQ. Also as you will notice the next few posts are not real time(!!)

Firstly work has just gone crazy!! There is usually a transaction surge in the run up to Christmas, but October was honestly the most relentless month in deal flow for a very long time. So I’ve been truly putting the flex into flexible working.

Naturally this kind of working environment takes its toll, but in true BBKnitz fashion I decided to add another layer of pressure. I mentioned before in “Christmas is coming fa la la la…” that I wanted to produce some Christmas decorations for sale this year so that I could raise money for Ronald MacDonald Houses. So whilst merrily making some small Christmas fripperies to sell at work, a friend sent a link to a local Christmas craft fair suggesting maybe I might want to try and get a stall! It would be a massive understatement to say my interest was piqued 😂. I took a couple of days to think over the idea: Not only have I never had a stall before, I’ve never really sold anything before (other than requests from friends for little gifts). Do I have enough variety of product to have an interesting stall? Could I possibly make enough stock? My brain was already dreaming up “quick” ways to bulk out my stock count of knitted baubles and embroidered hanging hearts (which are relatively time consuming to produce)- what about bunting, mini bunting, advent calendars, stockings? All could be produced quite quickly, and as a Christmas craft addict and hoarder I already had a load of panels and fabric to require minimal additional outlay (revealing the ridiculous size of my craft stash).

So I applied for a stall, and then started the frantic industry of producing everything I possibly could in order to have enough stock to fill a craft stall. In the unlikely event I over produced I could sell what was left at work!

It feels like I am back in wedding prep mode! I have spent every Sunday afternoon at the sewing machine in the Inner Sanctum, I’ve even spent many a dark evening in there trying frantically to get pieces finished off! The whole room is a bombsite of Christmas supply boxes turned upside down! The floor scattered with fabric trimmings!

And as per usual I have underestimated the task in hand… my original plan was to make up the strings of bunting I have been planning for our house for the last 2 years. I had over 20m of flags already made up ready to be sewn together. I obviously don’t need 20m so I could put those to good use. In my enthusiasm I had forgotten the tedious, time consuming task of pressing the bunting tape, pinning in place and then sewing accurately long strings of flags (I am not that brilliant with a sewing machine – especially when being stabbed by pins). Having made up 10m it suddenly occurred to me that bondaweb would’ve been a much better method of prepping the flags for sewing up 🤦🏻‍♀️.

Also I have used a lot of preprinted panels, which are not the most friendly where hemming is concerned so I’ve had to rethink a few items before sewing up.

That said, I am feeling a lot more relaxed about things now! We’re 2 weeks away from the fair and I have the following finished and ready for sale:

  • 4 stockings
  • 5 strings of bunting
  • 15 knitted baubles
  • 10 embroidered hanging hearts
  • 1 stocking advent calendar
  • And I am still in the process of making 5 strings of mini bunting, another stocking calendar, 2 stardard hanging calendars and more baubles and hearts.
  • Every spare minute is being used: I am embroidering on my commute, knitting baubles and hand-finishing fabric items during Small’s naps (whilst boxset binging), and sewing in the shed during the weekend afternoons (while Hubby and Small have their own fun) and in the evenings when Small is in bed.
  • Crazy as this might sound, being insanely busy at home has really lessened the stress that was creeping in at work. And with the posts I have been putting on Instagram I have already had a lot of items claimed!
  • I’ve always wanted to be able to give up work and do my crafting instead, but I am far to slow to be able to produce in sufficient volume to make any kind of income. But then maybe I need work as a counterbalance, without it there wouldn’t be the deadline pressure, the organisational challenge, or the more intellectual stimulation which brings in a bit more reality to my home life with Small and my crafting alter-ego. It will be interesting to see how the stall goes, whether there is demand for the things I make (I might love them but does anyone else 😂), and it is my first brace steps to establishing myself as real maker. Let’s see…
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The rollercoaster ride of hormonal hell!

Me and my good pal Scarlet meet pretty regularly each month, however I find it quite frustrating that this duty friend I have to tolerate unfortunately has a couple of evil henchmen she insists on bringing with her: Rage and Anxiety, who tend to make our meet ups rather fraught.

Rage was the first of Scarlet’s sidekicks to make an appearance quite some time ago but he was always relatively easy to subdue in those early days of our acquaintance. When myself and Scarlet reconciled after an 18month break, while I was pregnant with Small and I recovered from having her (and was breastfeeding), it was on very different terms. Rage had clearly been aggrieved by this period of absence because he had become extremely volatile and very difficult to control and worse still he now had a girlfriend who insisted on accompanying them: Anxiety.

So now my monthly “dates” with Scarlet are full of irrational and volatile bursts of anger beset with periods of very dark depression like feelings. Not the best cocktail of emotions to be dealing with when feeling naturally self conscious, sleep deprived and on edge.

I’ve suffered with anxiety since I was a very small child, and was surprised during pregnancy to be mostly free of it (with the odd exception where I would irrationally freak out about lying on my back when asleep, or inadvertently eating something bad). More surprising was the lack of any kind of attack after Small’s birth when she was very poorly. Strange… Admittedly it did return with a vengeance whenever we had any kind of hiccup with feeding, behaviour, sleeping – the usual! It was however typically short lived and settled after a day or so.

Scarlet decided to come back into my life just when Small’s first major eczema flare was at its peak. For a couple of days before I started to feel a bit unsettled, and then WHAM on the first day of her stay I went haywire! Small had saliva rash on her hands and face (including her eyes), that had turned into eczema. She was rubbing her face constantly and wouldn’t let me put cream on her. Every time she touched her face I felt a needle of rage sear in my stomach. On one occasion I ended up lobbing the cream across the room and leaving my squirming and screaming baby with Hubby (who incidentally always suggested I don’t bother with the cream! I won’t elaborate on this point as it only serves to infuriate me even more).

The ball of rage needles that had been developing in my stomach finally exploded like a nail bomb across the kitchen in a volley of expletives and abuse towards a rather defenseless Hubby. Once the bomb had gone off the emotional pendulum swung to the opposite side and I collapsed in a pile of despair.  Fear was spiralling around my head: I was frightened Small would claw her skin off, she’d scar herself forever, her beautiful face would be permanently a source of skin ruin, I was failing at being able to control it because she herself wouldn’t let me apply the creams she needed to help her and make it better. I am sure this is a mental ordeal most parents whose baby develops infantile eczema, and then childhood eczema, always go through, and in reality Small’s was pretty mild, but at this time I felt like I was at the bottom of a hole that couldn’t be escaped.

But the following month, when there were no obvious triggers for a breakdown, Scarlet and her mates turned up and I started to question everything. I was angry about nothing. I was desperate to pick a fight with Hubby about anything, but at the same time I was riddled with fear that our relationship was falling apart. I was insecure about myself as Small’s mum, as Hubby’s wife, and miserable about the fact that I was still dealing with pain from the after-effects of birth. I quickly realised it was my visiting chums causing this neurotic spiraling but what worried me was how extreme and volatile my behaviour was becoming. I felt so angry it was hard to deal with Small, I had to leave the room on several occasions because I had to take some serious deep breaths and walk around the house to simmer down. I stress I always left her where she was safe.

I knew my hormones would go a bit crazy after having Small, but I don’t like to be at the mercy of them. I began to be afraid I would hurt Hubby with the venomous things I would say (if I hadn’t already), I was scared I was falling apart, and worse still I was frightened I was developing that extreme PMS that some poor women are subjected to. So I started taking Kalms. That’s a pretty big step for me. I’ve never medicated for anxiety before mainly because having had it since early childhood I’ve developed coping mechanisms which have always made me feel in control. I wasn’t going to take the remedy all the time, just for a couple of days before Scarlet was due to show up and then for the first 3 days of her visit when I’m at my most volatile. I also went to see my GP.

I had a long list of quibbles and worries to discuss with my GP and I am lucky to have one who gives me the time to chat things through. She agreed I was exhibiting signs PMS but whilst my responses and behaviour remained non-physical we were ok. She did tell me Kalms are more a placebo, but I had found that first month I had started taking them I had no irrational outbursts, in fact no emotional turmoil at all, therefore placebo or not I was feeling the benefit! We agreed that if the situation were to change we would consider other options.

This was about 6 months ago, and Scarlet has been without her horrible sidekicks since then. I stopped taking Kalms when I realised I’d forgotten them the first month I was back at work. Having some me space (which work really was) back in my life seemed to be helping with the control. This became more apparent when we were away a couple of weeks ago. Scarlet decided to come with us on holiday (of course she did!) and her 2 nasty friends appeared on the second day of our trip. It’s a truly horrible feeling to be on holiday where your baby is having the time of her life, and you should be thrilled to see her having a wonderful time when instead you just feel really sad and really insecure. I bottled it all up because I didn’t want Hubby to know that I wasn’t feeling right.

I should probably also point out that we were both a bit strained. We soon realised that holidaying with a toddler is not like what holidays used to be like. You don’t get have a lie in, a leisurely breakfast followed by a day by the pool doing nothing more strenuous than lifting a drink and turning the page of your book. No holidays now are basically your exhausting weekend at home made more exhausting by having to get to grips with a different environment, where the baby won’t sleep because everything’s new so it’s even later nights, even earlier mornings and even cuddles through the night!

But one thing my recent encounter with Rage and Anxiety taught me was that I need to have the space to deal with my hormones if I am to prevent them taking control of me, so if I am not at work I need to manage them through Kalms or through some other outlet. Incidentally I dreamed up the 2 cuddly versions of these evil emotions whilst we were away and had a great time making them when we were home.

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Welcome to the Inner Sanctum

As I mentioned last time, I have recently finished (pending further improvements to be made over time!) shaping my new creative space. For now it is the Inner Sanctum, however I thought I would appeal to the masses to find a suitable name for my crafting haven.

I have already told you that I had (as my pre-motherhood dreamer self) envisaged myself and Small whiling away the hours in perfect contentment with a productive achievement to show for each day! In reality I am actually not keen on having Small invade this tranquil space as she invariably kicks up a stink and we have to return to the house before I have even taken the cover off the sewing machine! I tried it once: she decided she wanted to nap within 5 minutes and although she napped on a cushion, I achieved nothing because I couldn’t make any noise and then she woke up and wouldn’t play with anything – not even the amazing and noisy walker I had bought her especially for the cabin. She did pay a very brief visit, along with all of her friends, to have their feet painted for the pottery event, but that’s enough for her until she gets a bit older and starts to participate a bit more!

Until a few weeks agoI hadn’t actually made anything in my new studio, but I had often gone down there to potter around, reorganise my craft library, sort drawer units, hoover (laughable as I don’t even hoover my house), and constantly add things to my pegboards (new obsession!) Despite this lack of creative activity, I get an amazing feeling of peace from the moment I walk through the door. It really is the perfect escape for the escapist crafter!

Let me show you around

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